It is almost midnight here and I believe I'm becoming somewhat of a night owl. The people in Spain seem so civilized. School doesn't start until 9:30 am, it appears that most folks get up around 8 am, around they get to what they are doing about 9:30 or 10, break for a long meal and rest around 1:30 and then return to what they do 4:30 or 5, do it until 9 or so and go home for another meal and relaxation. It's actually quite nice.
I find I have not desire to get up at 5:30 or 6 am. It's too darned cold here to do that anyway. And there just doesn't seem to be any hurry. I'm enjoying the slower pace.
I'm feeling pretty good this evening. Today was a bit dicey. I don't think I've ever felt homesick before and it hit me big time today. For some reason I decided I'm never going to learn Spanish, this is all a waste of time, I'm too old, it's too hard. I'm too little and it is way too big. Somewhere in the midst of all this self pity oozing from every pore, I realized an attitude adjustment was sorely needed. So I talked to the bears and they agreed.
It is curious how my mind works. It fascinates me. Here I am living the dream, getting to do things I've always wanted to do, having my happy childhood, and I can still somehow find a way to feel sorry for myself. If it weren't so dang funny, it would be sad. Well no more fuss and feathers - I just love that expression - I think it is time for sleep.
5 comments:
Yes, it is always better for me to wake up slowly like a flower in the sun rather than bursting forth at dawn like the chirping birds. Slow starts here, too, except our classes are 8:45, which everyone complains about--especially the Brits who find it uncivilized.
Not sure how missing family and friends (homesick) is "feeling sorry for" ourselves. I think being cut off from in-person contact with those we love and those we like is a form of emotional amputation. It brings phantom pain when least expected. Being abroad for this extended time is purely a gift. For me, the "homesickness" comes with a forced re-examination of many habits,practices, and things. My life here is very simple,with many pleasures, but it is too much alone-ness for comfort. See you next week.
I understand what you are saying. I ne firver experienced this before and perhaps it's because both times I was here for long periods of time before, I was with someone I loved. The first time I was with John and the second time with Leea. Also we were traveling around, new sights, new people. And I wasn't trying to learn a language. Which, by the way, is looking unlikely at this point. I'm more than a little discouraged. However it is only the second week. We spent the whole day in class today watching videos on various festivals. I wanted to scream, but didn't.
Thanks for writing. I'm not getting much in the way of communication from friends and family. They probably have lives. lol
Ha. That is what my daughter said to me, "We are busy living life." Emails and facebook postings are much more valued now. I am used to teaching Sociology majors and graduate students in sociology who are intrigued by the same kinds of stuff I am. Now, I have only non-major undergraduates who are taking my classes because offerings are slim. They are not very fascinated by customs, interaction rituals, race, gender or social class. So I am not preachng to the choir. Rather isolating.
BTW, keep immersing yourself. You will soon find phrases falling out of your mouth that you didn't know were in your brain. When you dream in Spanish, you will really feel changed. It will happen.
Perhaps you will have the opportunity to open a mind or two, if only a little. When preaching to the choir, there isn't much opportunity to instigate change.
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